Monthly Archives: October 2011
How's the mileage?
Stuck in traffic today, I looked around to see a man in the minivan in the next lane screaming soundlessly at me through our closed windows. I wasn’t sure what I had done, given we weren’t moving. So I just nodded at him.
Later, a different minivan with bullet holes in the rear window passed me on the highway. I wondered what had happened. Was the driver perhaps a suburban drug dealer a la Weeds? Was the minivan the target of a random highway shooting? Or had the driver simply walked out of his house one day, looked at his minivan and his life, then gone back inside for his gun?
Not for the first time, I considered buying a Costco membership. But I have a problem with commitment.
The book as zombie
My friend Jonathan Bennett on ending books.
There are many endings when writing a novel. First, there is the ending of the book that you plan for and write towards. Then the there is the ending that happens when you get there and realize it isn’t quite the right place to end it. So a new search begins for the right ending. Because, for all you know, you’ve already passed by the ending, and it’s chapter shuffling that needs to occur so the right ending is in the right place. Or else you still need to keep writing to discover where and how it’s going to end.
Double double and check the oil
As I drove home from dropping off a friend at the airport this morning, an oncoming car in the opposite lane swerved into my lane for a few seconds before pulling back in to the line of cars. Maybe it was a mistake, a distracted driver. Or maybe the driver was entertaining the fantasy we all have at one time or another, of crossing the line and steering our lives into annihilation and escape.
Later, on another stretch of road, I passed police and firefighters clustered around a head-on collision in the centre lane.
I pulled into the drive-through lane of a coffee shop, but I didn’t know what I wanted.
With apologies to James "Spider" Marks
I just saw an interview on the news with a retired general named Spider.
Seriously?
General Spider….
General Spider: We must attack quickly!
Underling: Yes sir!
General Spider: And then freeze in place for several seconds, in case someone is watching.
Underling: Yes… sir….
General Spider: We will envelop the enemy!
Underling: Yes sir! Classic flanking attack, sir!
General Spider: No, I mean we’ll cocoon them.
Underling: Cocoon them… sir?
General Spider: Then we can drain them of their precious fluids!
Underling: Do you mean oil, sir?
General Spider: Precious, precious bodily fluids….
Underling: Sir, I think you may need some rest… sir….
General Spider: Good thinking. I need to lay some eggs.
Underling: Sir, why are you wrapping me in silk?
General Spider: We must close the egg sac gap!
Underling: Gggmmmaearearrrr….
General Spider: Mission accomplished!
Human nature
I looked up at a passing jet today and imagined it falling from the sky. Then I realized I imagine that every time I look at a jet. Does anyone else do this?
No?
Just me?
Carry on then.
New Azrael story on the way
I really enjoyed writing the first Azrael story and I had lots of wonderful feedback from readers, so I wrote a sequel. It’s tentatively titled “The Angel Azrael Passes Judgment on the People of the Dust.” It’s still in early draft form — I need to add more bloodshed and mayhem to live up to the title — but it’s in pretty good shape. I’ll let you know when I find a home for it. In the meantime, do check out my Lovecraftian superhero story.
peter darbyshire 