I just saw an interview on the news with a retired general named Spider.

Seriously?

General Spider….

General Spider: We must attack quickly!

Underling: Yes sir!

General Spider: And then freeze in place for several seconds, in case someone is watching.

Underling: Yes… sir….

General Spider: We will envelop the enemy!

Underling: Yes sir! Classic flanking attack, sir!

General Spider: No, I mean we’ll cocoon them.

Underling: Cocoon them… sir?

General Spider: Then we can drain them of their precious fluids!

Underling: Do you mean oil, sir?

General Spider: Precious, precious bodily fluids….

Underling: Sir, I think you may need some rest… sir….

General Spider: Good thinking. I need to lay some eggs.

Underling: Sir, why are you wrapping me in silk?

General Spider: We must close the egg sac gap!

Underling: Gggmmmaearearrrr….

General Spider: Mission accomplished!